Why Rehab & Alcoholics Anonymous Failed Me

For about 29 years alcohol was a major force in my life. I won't tell my long story here, but here's a quick view of my alcohol abuse and "recovery" history:

1972: Had first drink

1980-1988: Alcohol abuse escalated until found myself homeless

1988: First 90-day residential rehab, completed, stayed sober 3 years, went to lots of AA meetings and was secretary at several "fellowships"

1991: Relapsed, drank in secret

1995: Homeless again, spent Xmas in detox unit.

1996: Second 90-day residential rehab, completed, stayed sober 10 months

1999: Went through EAP through my employer for alcohol treatment, failed at that, was dismissed from work

Mid-2000: Got job as a clerk at a liquor store, of course drank on the job

2000: Homeless again, in and out of various halfway houses

Early 2001: Third 90-day residential rehab, fled after 17 days, holed up in a cheap motel and drank until money ran out

Mid-2001: Went through my fourth residential rehab, this time 6 months, completed and relapsed a week after I left.

2002-2008: Stopped going to AA for good, drank only intermittently

Late 2008-Early 2009: Suddenly and abruptly began heavy binge drinking, hardly eating. Wound up in the hospital detoxing with Doctor telling me if I don't stop I'll die.

I haven't consumed any more alcohol since Thursday, February 12, 2009.

What's different this time? Where I work is a big factor, as my employer and co-workers have been very supportive and were I to die a miserable lonely death it would affect many people I have come to care about.

And my age. I'm in my 50s now and I'm just tired of abusing my body and living in a mental fog. I don't want to be senile before I reach 60. And I find I don't miss the "buzz" I had always craved. And I look back at all the insane things I did to obtain alcohol, consume alcohol and hide my consumption from the world, I wonder now "What were you THINKING?"

And I've learned about real recovery. Thanks to these websites:

Orange Papers

Smart Recovery

I know that more options are available now than there were 15-20 years ago.

However, the point of to-day's post is to call attention to this article that was published in a mainstream newspaper:

We're addicted to rehab. It doesn't even work.

Life is much better when you're fully conscious.

Enjoy your week-end.

TJS