Why Rehab & Alcoholics Anonymous Failed Me

For about 29 years alcohol was a major force in my life. I won't tell my long story here, but here's a quick view of my alcohol abuse and "recovery" history:

1972: Had first drink

1980-1988: Alcohol abuse escalated until found myself homeless

1988: First 90-day residential rehab, completed, stayed sober 3 years, went to lots of AA meetings and was secretary at several "fellowships"

1991: Relapsed, drank in secret

1995: Homeless again, spent Xmas in detox unit.

1996: Second 90-day residential rehab, completed, stayed sober 10 months

1999: Went through EAP through my employer for alcohol treatment, failed at that, was dismissed from work

Mid-2000: Got job as a clerk at a liquor store, of course drank on the job

2000: Homeless again, in and out of various halfway houses

Early 2001: Third 90-day residential rehab, fled after 17 days, holed up in a cheap motel and drank until money ran out

Mid-2001: Went through my fourth residential rehab, this time 6 months, completed and relapsed a week after I left.

2002-2008: Stopped going to AA for good, drank only intermittently

Late 2008-Early 2009: Suddenly and abruptly began heavy binge drinking, hardly eating. Wound up in the hospital detoxing with Doctor telling me if I don't stop I'll die.

I haven't consumed any more alcohol since Thursday, February 12, 2009.

What's different this time? Where I work is a big factor, as my employer and co-workers have been very supportive and were I to die a miserable lonely death it would affect many people I have come to care about.

And my age. I'm in my 50s now and I'm just tired of abusing my body and living in a mental fog. I don't want to be senile before I reach 60. And I find I don't miss the "buzz" I had always craved. And I look back at all the insane things I did to obtain alcohol, consume alcohol and hide my consumption from the world, I wonder now "What were you THINKING?"

And I've learned about real recovery. Thanks to these websites:

Orange Papers

Smart Recovery

I know that more options are available now than there were 15-20 years ago.

However, the point of to-day's post is to call attention to this article that was published in a mainstream newspaper:

We're addicted to rehab. It doesn't even work.

Life is much better when you're fully conscious.

Enjoy your week-end.

TJS

Law of Attraction Part 2 of 5: Esther and Jerry Hicks

Esther Hicks has joined the ranks of those who "channel" messages from what is called a "non-physical" realm. The two other famous ones are Seth (Jane Roberts) and Ramtha (Judy Zebra Knight). I'm just reading Seth Speaks now and so I'll comment on it soon as I'm done and "Ramtha's School of Enlightenment" appears to be a money-making cult. Funny thing, in the movie "What The Bleep: Down the Rabbit Hole" "Ramtha" made some really goofy comments and Knight, as herself, seemed very sensible.

Anyway, on to "Abraham" which is the collective entity that Esther channels. The original first version of "The Secret" (reviewed in Part 1) featured Abraham. Since the movie came out, Hay House has had a successful series of books and videos by Jerry and Esther. What I'll review briefly to-day is:

_The Teachings of Abraham: the Master Course Video_ Hay House, 2008, ISBN 978-1-4019-2174-3, 5 DVD discs, approx. 10 hours.

This was filmed aboard an Alaskan cruise ship and was also where Rhonda Byrne and her production company met with the Hicks' and did their own filming as well.

Abraham, on disc 5, boils down the whole philosophy this way "You're good. Be happy."

Now, the Hicks have made a LOT of money doing what they're doing. But they don't appear to have built a cult the way Knight did with Ramtha. And Jane Roberts pretty much stayed at home channeling Seth.

Now, do I recommend one make a mental diet of Abraham-Hicks? No. They're interesting to watch and read, and there's a few good ideas here and there. The One Idea I got out of them is to become a vibrational match to whatever it is you're desiring. And Abraham doesn't recommend it, but I do, the best way to get there is chant Nam-Myoho-Renge-Kyo and have specific Goals to work for. Abraham-Hicks are NOT my main teachers.

Anyway, that's it for now. Next week I'll take on one of the more controversial of the Secret Teachers, James Arthur Ray.

Peace and Blessings to You All.

TJS

Law of Attraction Part 1 of 5: The Secret

Hello, I apologize for not posting in a LONG while, I allowed myself to get too lazy regarding my writing, but one of my NEW Goals is to become more visible through media. No, I don't think this blog will reach the Technorati Top 100 any time soon, but with hard work I'll be able to reach enough of the people I respect.

Anyway, that said, time for media review:

_The Secret_ Prime Time Productions, 2006, current version is available here, earlier version with Esther Hicks channeling "non-physical" collective being known as "Abraham" can be viewed online here

_The Secret_ by Rhonda Byrne, et al. Atria Books/Beyond Words Publishing, 2006, xvi + 199 pgs., ISBN-10 1-58270-170-7

_The Secret Daily Teachings by Rhonda Byrne, et al. Atria Books, 2008, 365 pgs., ISBN-10 1-4391-3083-3

When one sees this stuff for the first time, they might get the idea that all you need do is visualize what you desire, or put an intention out to the Universe and it will come to you. In the movie, a woman is shown looking at a necklace in a store window and she puts a vibration out there and lo and behold a man gives her that very necklace. Another example, a boy is shown seeing a chopper bicycle in a magazine he'd like to have. So he cuts out the picture, puts the vibration out there, and after waiting for it and getting disappointed that it's not coming fast enough, lo and behold his dad gives him the very bike.

That easy? Well hold on a moment here.

As they say, it "only happens in the movies." HOWEVER, Law of Attraction (hereafter referred to as LOA) DOES work, BUT _YOU_ have work to do.

My own example. In 2007 I had been living in a roominghouse for 5 years after my fourth failed attempt at residential rehab. I figured that with my non-existent credit history, lack of financial resources I figured where I was, living where I didn't want to live with other men I didn't want to be around, was the best I was going to do.

Well, _The Secret_ galvanized my into action. I wrote out in exact detail exactly where I wanted to live. I figured that shared housing was good enough for me, so I put it all on paper, and intensely prayed to the Gohonzon with the concluding words "This or something better."

Four months later one of my bosses at work told me about an apartment for rent that he knew about. So I took a look at one of the units, filled out the application and I figured it would take a few days for them to look at my credit history, contact the owner, etc. TWO HOURS later I get the call, congratulations you've been approved.

Things then happened that still astonish me, I got help with paying for the deposit & funds were made available for me to purchase furniture. All the right doors opened for me because I used LOA intelligently. That's the key.

A small detail about the movie. In the opening scene Rhonda Byrne opens a book given to her which is _The Secret of the Ages_ but in interviews given by Byrne she says that book was actually _The Science of Getting Rich_ by Wallace Wattles. I do recommend both books, BTW, they're both available in either inexpensive paperbacks, or the Wattles book is available online for free, as it is in the public domain.

TO-MORROW: PART 2: Jerry & Esther Hicks

No More A Slave

It is time to stop living in FEAR and start living from a place of Love and Courage.

Let me say just two things here:

1.) What people think of me is none of my business

and

2.) I don't need other people's approval.

When I declare Freedom, I also call for True Liberation. I do not need Holy Books, Priests or any authority external to me to tell me how to live my life. I'm going to make my share of mistakes, blunders, sometimes say the wrong thing, and yes, even upset or offend people.

Well, so be it. It's called living as a Human Being.

Heresy? Perhaps:

"A heretic is a man who sees with his own eyes."
Gotthold Ephraim Lessing (1721-1781)

To encourage you to attain this Freedom for Yourself, I strongly encourage you to view this important documentary:

Richard Dawkins Root of All Evil Part 1

Richard Dawkins Root of All Evil Part 2

Like that famous flag proclaims, Don't Tread on Me.

TJS

Failing Forward

Recovery Happens
Failing Forward
by Tim J. Swank

I attended the Central Valley Regional Conference of the California Network of Mental Health Clients (CNMHC) last month. It was on the second day of this 2-day event when an extraordinary thing happened. I had spoken up during several workshops held on my view of recovery. During a break in the proceedings, a leader of CNMHC told me that I would be a good candidate for a position on the Board of Directors, an election which would be held that day.

Well, when I had woken up that morning and prepared to go, being elected a Board member was not on my mind, let alone an idea I had considered. So I had decided at that moment, "Why not?" So I was nominated along with four other folks, the election was held, and I won.

Later that week, doubts started to infect me like a virus. "What ifs" crept in. During this time, I spent 14 hours in bed not wanting to do anything. Finally, not wanting to live a paralyzed life, I had a talk with my mentor who reminded me about how far I had come in the last six years. So just speaking thoughts out loud helped me to clarify my direction and where I want to go.

Any Great Accomplishment will come with the risk of failure. Mistakes will be made, blunders and missteps inevitable. And that's OK. This is how we learn, by taking those risks and daring to step out to where one has never been before. And I'm speaking here of calculated, well-thought-out risks; not the risk of going to the casino with the rent money in the hope of getting rich quick, but doing something you've always wanted to do, but not thinking that it'll work.

I could easily just spend my days alone in my apartment not going anywhere, not doing anything for fear of rejection, embarrassment and loss. But not taking a risk is the greatest risk of all. And that's no way to live. We can achieve Greatness in our lives if we just continue to take those baby steps, build a solid foundation and dare to do the thing you think you cannot do. And if what you try didn't work, go back and look at what happened, then get up again and work more intelligently next time.

And I intend to be a Great Board member for the Central Valley Region, knowing that I and other people believe in me and what I can accomplish for California.

Goals!

Book Review:

Goals! How to Get Everything You Want - Faster Than You Ever Thought Possible

Brian Tracy Berrett-Koehler Publishers, 2004 ISBN 1-57675-307-7

xi + 291 pgs.

Available @ Brian Tracy International

Design Your Best Year Ever: A Proven Formula for Achieving Big Goals

Darren Hardy Success Books, 2009 ISBN 978-0-9819512-0-1

xv + 141 pgs.

Available @ Your Success Store

I can't say enough about the importance of setting clear, written goals as part of recovery. These books lay a great foundation.

Brian Tracy lays out more the WHY of setting goals and the great benefits one can accrue from doing this discipline. Darren Hardy provides a template anyone can follow for deciding WHAT goals to go for and the all-important follow-up action plan.

In 2007 it worked for me. Using a goal-setting formula and Law of Attraction principles (More later this week) I set a goal of moving out of a horrible room and board shared house I'd been living in since 2002. I wrote out in detail exactly the kind of place I wanted to move into, and I placed these words afterwards, "I shall achieve this Goal OR BETTER by 12/31/07. Well, I didn't get exactly what I wanted on paper...I did GET BETTER.

I am convinced that this step of writing specific Goals will do more for achieving a lasting recovery than just hoping and wishing for things to get better.

Anyway, get these books and get busy!

TJS

Book Review: The No Asshole Rule

Book Review:

The No Asshole Rule: Building a Civilized Workplace and Surviving One That Isn't

Robert I. Sutton, PhD

Business Plus, 2007 ISBN 978-0-446-52656-2

210 pgs.

"Asshole" is a pretty blunt word, I know, but let's face it: no matter if you call "difficult people" "jerks", "petty tyrants", "bullies", "knuckleheads", or whatever, they're still assholes, but there is good news.

Dr. Sutton provides us with a very useful guide in dealing with these workplace creeps in this highly readable book. I learned that the best way to deal with assholes is to avoid having anything to do with them, or, if that's not possible, be very firm and assertive as to what behaviors are acceptable and what is not. I also learned that sometimes I can be an asshole sometimes myself, and how to recognize and control my "inner jerk".

Here's a tactic I learned from one of my past mentors on how to deal with these people.

HOWARD: Why you acting like that? You can't talk to me that way!

ALBERT: You know Howard, I am truly blessed.

HOWARD: What you mean?

ALBERT: I don't need your approval.

This usually leaves them speechless, or provokes them further. Always keep your cool. Let them rage, then say "Thank you" and walk away. Trying to reason with a hothead is futile. A lot of times they want a fight to prove to themselves how righteous they are. Don't give it to them. For the sake of your own mental wellness, don't buy into their own negativity. Just say "thank you" and pray for their happiness...SOMEWHERE ELSE.

Anyway, visit the author's blog:

Bob Sutton

Tell him TJS sent you.

Stay Free,

TJS